It was scorching hot… There were almost no people on the street, it was quiet. I headed towards the station. Suddenly, I heard a cry. A little girl was sitting with a sad look and tears in her eyes.
“Excuse me? Why are you crying? Did something happen?” I sat down in front of her. A little silence…
“Your watch is beautiful.” I felt sorry for her eyes. She wiped her tears and looked at her phone with concern.
“Is it peace, did something happen, or are you waiting for someone?” I asked the girl.
“Hello, I am a family girl,” she wondered if I looked like a child. My body was trembling with fear inside. My name is Rukhsara…
I am the cause of this situation, my deceitful relatives and my thoughts. These days, I am struggling with an incurable disease. They neither hear nor understand. In my half-hearted state, I seem lazy and worthless to everyone.
I handed over my handkerchief, saying,
“Enough, wipe your tears, it’s not worth it, you have to live. Don’t get caught up in this world’s fleeting pains and insignificant people. After all, the world will come back to haunt everyone, so be patient.”
I reassured Rukhsara.
“Tell me, what kind of problem and worry is putting you in this situation and gnawing at your insides?” I asked.
Five months ago, I was a very happy, cheerful person. My free feelings in my parents’ arms were different. My eyes would only smile. We had a wedding in February. Everyone was happy. Happy, joyful. I was happy, excited, and the atmosphere of my new home and new days began. Twenty-five days later, I realized I was pregnant.
There was no one happier than me. I was so excited to be a mother that I had even chosen a name for my child. My family, parents, and husband were so happy. Their eyes were filled with joy that I would achieve the happiness of fatherhood and that the successor of our generation would see the world.
This happiness lasted only three weeks. I lost my fetus due to mental depression, stress, physical strain, and the effects of technology.
Suddenly, my husband’s phone fell into my hand. I wanted to call my parents to check on them, to say I missed them. The message came, I was interested in reading it, I was about to open it and read it, but the strange words from my sister named Feruza caught my attention.
“Wow, what is this? After all, he is married now, he has a wife, so why is he writing such words?”
I started thinking in my head. At first, I didn’t pay attention. I didn’t say a word.
My jealousy gave me no peace, and finally, with tears in my eyes, I asked my husband,
“Who is Feruza?”
My husband laughed and said that she was his relative and beloved niece, but he didn’t even pay attention. I told him to tell his sister not to talk to a married man at a distance.
The next day, he wrote down a lot of bitter words about me, explaining how and what he had said to his sister. He said that your wife was a daughter-in-law of a good family, that she doesn’t wear a veil in front of her father-in-law, and that her whims were gradually turning into quarrels. Unfortunately, all that remained was that she hurt her mouth and that her words were in vain.
Even if she said a thousand bad things, I had justified my parents’ upbringing. But this situation continued. The correspondence and sarcasm did not stop. I cried at night, and I was in pain. I argued with my husband. But my child fell victim to an unbeliever.
Two years later, I had a heart attack. I felt a terrible pain inside, my body was aching and weak. I had heart attacks two or three times a day, and I was facing death. But with the prayers of my mother-in-law and the mercy of God, I came back to myself.
The doctors diagnosed me with chronic rheumatic heart disease. I was treated for a while. They treated the cause and said that over time, I would get rid of my pain. My doctor said,
“You have a strong will and determination, and if there were another patient in your place, you would not have been able to endure it.”
I said that my grandfather raised me to be a strong girl and taught me to fight without losing. I returned home with patience.
I was taking my medicine, thinking that I would almost pretend not to have seen this, when my mother-in-law called me, saying,
“Rukhsara, come downstairs quickly, dinner will be late.”
I ran to her and said, “Oh, my God!”
“You are not sick, the doctors said you would die. You live for your children, you did not do your assigned work, you went to work earlier than me, you have been a bride for five months, you have been sweeping the yard, you have not done my service, I do not like people looking at me with disdain, I am crazy about cleanliness. If you say you are not strong enough to do these things, then I am still weak. I can do it.”
He said bitter, insulting words, and made my pain worse. These words pierced my bones. Even if a disappointed person came back and brought the sun, he would not leave my heart again…
The most painful thing is that my husband and my mother could not say a word to my sick wife to come to her senses. He could not protect his wife; he showed his weakness. My eyes were waiting with anticipation for my husband to protect me, alas…
I cried all night, asking why my husband did this. They argued with me, saying I told my mother off. They made all kinds of petty things.
“Oh, when the water of life is muddy, a broken, shattered heart cannot be restored. How can I live with my defenseless husband now, what if it gets worse, who will protect me?”
My pain is getting worse instead of going away…
My parents can’t stand the fact that when I tell my father to go home, his daughter has returned, and he can’t control his tongue. Forced, patient, and praying for healing, I continue to live without listening, my ears are deaf, my eyes are blind, and my tongue is closed. My heart feels that one day he will regret his words and his foolish actions. He finished his words by saying that everyone will be covered.
Hearing these events brought tears to my eyes. My heart felt like it was breaking. I tried to put myself in their place and suffer in my thoughts.
Torturing, humiliating, and mistreating a bride is due to a lack of upbringing, inability to see her happiness, or being blinded by money, wealth, property, and the state, and not paying enough attention to herself.
Dear men, we women are a gift to you. Appreciate them in time, protect them, and do not make them feel weak. After all, they are your mountain, your ally, your lover. Your father has left his home and youth for you. If you cannot make her happy and protect her, do not give her hope. Do not exchange your false love for her life.
A daughter is a part of her father. Raising and educating her is not an easy task. If you belittle her, hurt her, or hurt her feelings, you will be cursed or your answer will be harsh. If you break a sprout, it will bend; if you cut it, it will wither.
Because of these words, a family is on the verge of breaking up, and a person has reached a point where he cannot even turn back from committing suicide. What punishment is needed for such a vice? Where can we look for the root cause of petty words?
The family is a small part of society. It is in our hands to preserve it. Do not undermine your strong defense by being unworthy.
Author
Abdullayeva Rushana
Student, Uzbekistan University of Journalism and Mass Communications
